By Michelle Chun-LeRoy
The title here is not a reference to the late Robert Palmer’s ode to the pathological side effects of romantic attachment; rather, I am making reference to a specific outcome resulting from being a Shanti volunteer.
In my most optimistic moments, I firmly believe that if you put two complete strangers face to face, after a few minutes, a connection will be made. This, I think, despite all existential justifications for human alienation, is one of the hallmarks of being human. However, this belief is often truer in theory than in praxis.
When Shanti matched me with my client, I was at once thrilled and terrified. My client—I hate that term—I learned is the uber good citizen, she volunteers with the homeless, and was recently awarded the Woman of the Year Award for San Francisco. What was I going to offer this person? I excitedly took down her contact information. On my way home, I reviewed all of the information and scripts we covered in our volunteer training. God, could I do this correctly?
When we finally met, there was an air of mutual trepidation. I mean, there I was, a total stranger sitting at her kitchen table. Heaven knows what she was thinking. Me? I was too busy worrying about what constituted an open ended question to really notice anything else. I felt as if we were making small talk. After each visit, She’d tire easily and I left wondering if she really liked having me visit, or if she felt that I was just one more thing on her busy to-do list. This was not going well. Finally, I thought, heck, I’ll just treat her as if I would treat a friend and started asking her about her life, where she’s from, what she did as a girl. Soon, we were talking about everything, from cooking to protesting against the war. She promised me at the next anti-war rally, she’d show me how to get arrested. Way cool. We were connecting.
Then one day, my cell phone rang. It was my Shanti
friend, she had to cancel our meeting for that week. I was concerned and disappointed. I really looked forward to spending time with her. Before she said goodbye, she told me that she loved me. I stammered that I loved her too. I was so shocked and absolutely elated. I had just won the lottery! This sense of connection is the reason why I am doing this. Love is a good addiction to have.
